29 Years down the Road…

Picture the scene…

The year is 1995 and a young and sprightly motorhome is at the submission of her owner, enjoying the undulating peninsula and arid terrain of the Spanish mainland…  Little does she know, the clouds will soon darken as she entangles herself in a series of precarious incidents, involving the UK’s drug cartel, obscene amount of loot, and Geordie warlords!

Fast forward twenty-two years and the now tired camper-van, sits on her collapsed springs in the North of England, seeking death by rust or a new owner; to set her free from her life of crime and re-invent her, in all her glory!

And so, we saved Audrey!

(Or, to give her her full title) Audrey; ‘The Smuggler’!

To give you some background, Audrey is a 1989 Talbot Hymer – she’s rustic (arguably antique) but she was also brown! She looked like the 1980’s bathroom suite that was standard fit in every UK home of this period – it surely didn’t look good then, never mind now!  So this needed to go!  Searching the shelves of our local hardware store; B&Q had given me the inspiration I needed.  Coming in a range of glittery options, Angelic Sparkle seemed the obvious choice, so now Audrey’s interior is painted in glitter pink, all over her walls and cupboard doors.  What else can be expected when three girls are going around Europe?  She looks amazing and it is actually, quite subtle!

Having recently renovated a house, it’s pointless touching the walls if you are going to leave the floors! Therefore, whilst Paul was at work, myself and the kids went on a mission to the local carpet shop and purchased an off-cut of purple stripes, it made for an interesting ride getting it into the car that day!

With her interior complete, it was now Paul’s job to sort the exterior and mechanical components.  Arguably, this area is of most importance but I have no interest in it what-so-ever, so I’ll try and do it some justice for all you mechanical minded folk!

Paul completed a full service, repairing the clutch cable that had snapped on our last gallivant, (more on that later) and not wanting to break-down again she was back in Pop-Top Leisure in Crook, to have her Assister springs fitted! For months I’ve been calling these; ‘sister springs’, my logic being, they are a pair, therefore sisters.  Plausible, but highly stupid in Paul’s opinion, as they assist the body roll (basically giving her lift) so she now looks like a joy-boys answer to ‘staying overnight in a car-park’, dancing on her suspension!

With her bottom up, she now looks a picture of beauty and we cannot thank Ritchie Coates Photography enough, for entertaining our idea and branding the van.  Ritchie owns a local photography studio in Crook and specialises in portraits and wedding storytelling.  In addition to this, he is a skilled graphic designer and so added the vinyl to Audrey as well as producing Nuksi’s passport photo.  Should you enter the studio, be sure to peruse his landscape photography- it’s picturesque!

This links me nicely to Timothy Pattimore – our brother-in-law.  Due to his latter title, one could say we have to rate him but I think his work speaks for itself.  Alongside running the Handmade Craft house in Dumfries, he is a talented artist and web-designer who produced our logo which summarises the sort of crazy we are.  Their gallery, specialises in bespoke hand-made pieces and prides itself in promoting and supporting local businesses.

In summary, this is how we transformed Audrey from ‘Smuggler’ to ‘Snuggler’.  Instead of having ‘weed’ in, she will now undoubtedly be ‘weed’ on (children, eh!)  And naturally, with a motorhome, all of your other amenities are included…

For Europe 2017, we have a built in toilet and shower (rather than a washing up bowl – who knew they had so many uses, right?)  Audrey also comes with her own microwave- Note to self: her vents are covered so don’t microwave jacket potatoes or it will blow up again (maybe just stick to warming the baby food for 30 seconds!) And, her own sink and oven (chicken dinner – camping style!)

Therefore, all that is left to do now, its pack her up and prepare her for two children, you would think we had been smoking something but, get ready for the cliché – just high on life!

Tell us, what are you preparing for?  Perhaps you have a business / brand / hobby you wish to promote – and are thinking of setting up your own website to do this? Why not buy your domain through tshost? Use the link below and the code ‘ARHOME’ to receive 10% off!  What are you waiting for – get that website up and running!


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